As soon as we start crawling, we learn what is right and what is wrong. We are taught what to say and what to do from the day we understand our parents. They is no doubt our parents are there to protect us from physical and emotional harm. But as we get older and older, the lines start to blur.
From a toddler to a child. From a child through to the teenage years and from the teenage years to adulthood. We learn about the world through the eyes of our parents, our family and the community. We are taught of what is expected of us and how to behave in different situations.
But along the way, the very things that they are trying to protect us from can also be the barriers we create in our own minds.
One sentence can change our whole perspective of how we see the world. We hear the word ‘no’ so many times that we forget, life can create so many opportunities by saying ‘yes’.
From what people have told us in the past, we can over analyse our own behaviours. We question what we do is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but we never question if its right for us.
I have never met two people with the same interests, same goals and same experiences. So, it’s safe to say that we all don’t have the same ideas of success?
And the result of too much self criticism becomes a ripple of negativity towards other people. We can become judgemental and overly critical to the people around us. Sometimes to people we don’t even know and some people we hold dearly.
The struggles of coping with my old self and new self after returning from a year long trip was a tough experience. I put myself through so much self judgement that it spiralled into a dark and negative headspace. The small internal battles created emotional battles in my outside world.
I realised over time, the problems i was facing were the problems i was creating for myself. I had to learn i wasn’t a bad person for wanting to create a new life for myself. And that i needed to leave my hometown to create a better future.
Self criticism and judgmental behaviours can hold us back from what we truly want to do with our lives. From what we have been told to do and the experiences we go through everyday create our limiting beliefs.
As human beings, we need to recognise what values and beliefs are creating problems in our lives. We all want to be happy and succeed but sometimes our very own beliefs are stopping us from doing the very thing that will make us happy.
And while i can still have bad days - those days when i have complete faith in the order of the universe are joyous days. Those days when i accept people in the present moment is the day where i have complete trust and faith people are doing the best they can.
Being overly critical and judgmental is dangerous ground. These very traits are the cause and the effects of internal wars. It is the battle of the head and the heart. The days when you feel like everything is against you, its time to do some digging.
It takes a brave person to realise - that maybe - the problems we have are the problems we create.
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